Benidorm (June 2006)

I finally got here at something like 9:30 at night. I called the hotel to confirm that I would be arriving late in the evening and stupidly didn't ask them where they were relative to the bus station. Which turned out to not be a bus station anyways, just a brief stop to turf us off at the side of the road in amongst all the people having their night time walkies. Anyhoos, after quite a trek, my hotel is tucked in one far far corner of the beach area, I found my hotel, very very flash, and so it should be for 100 Euros a night (my usual budget is around 65 Euros).

Benidorm is so horrible it doesn't rate a photo. Here is the beach in San Sebastian instead.

On the way to the hotel I couldn't believe the people I was seeing. I have made the observation before to Cailli that I have lived and travelled in quite a few countries now and have seen a lot of different people. And I can appreciate that all countries have different kinds of people in them. But the UK takes the cake, by far and away, for having the uttermost slaggiest skankiest chicks on the planet by orders of magnitude, and this is saying a lot, because coming from California where we have a lot of our own 100% Grade A beef skanky chicks, and Australia has their Gothic chicks, and South African chicks must surely be the world's highest consumer of makeup on the planet. So I am dragging my stuff past the most sunburnt, wobbly high heeled, bad makeuped, black eyelinered, blue eyeshadowed, over hairsprayed, horribly accented, rolls of fat hanging out over way too low cut pants, totally drunk, hideously slutty dressed manky skanky British chicks I have ever ever seen in my whole entire life ever anywhere ever. Bloody hell (my apologies to any British readers. You need to sort your overseas visitors out though).

Even the Eiffel Bridge in Porto, Portugal was more photogenic. And yes, that's the Tower dude.

I went back out again and found an American BBQ rib restaurant which I had passed on the way to the hotel, I love American ribs so I couldn't pass up the opportunity, although it turned out to be not so great and filled with screaming kids.

Even the fish would rather be in the aquarium at San Sebastien than at Benidorm.

So today I am up, my air conditioning is working so well that I am actually woken up by the cold at night, woohoo! I figure not to rush things so I wander down to have my breakfast at a cafe (they charge an amazing amount for breakfast in the restaurant, but it is the dreaded open buffet and I guess people can really load their plates). So I go to a local cafe and ask for the usual Spanish breakfast of churros con chocolate, which is sticks of doughnut dough deep fried then dunked into cups of very very thick hot chocolate, a cafe con leche which is coffee with milk, and zumo de naranja which is freshly squeezed orange juice.

The orange trees of which I speak, a specimen here from Seville.

Speaking of orange juice this whole area of southern Spain is absolutely covered with orange trees, olive trees, and nut trees. I cannot believe how many fallen oranges there are around orange trees even in the orchards. So while I am sitting there eating my breakfast, overlooking the sidewalk, I watch an endless parade of the most amazing human wreckage you've ever seen. Mostly Spanish, but lots of Poms, Scots, and some Dutch and German. Blimey. All of them on cheap hotel/flight deals. My guide book says Benidorm is trying to clean up their image and make it more upmarket, but they are not doing very well. Every single shop sells tacky junk for little kids and tourists, and there are heaps and heaps of British oriented restaurants and cafes and pubs with names like The Guiness Pub, The Huxton Pub, Picadilly Circus cafe, Big Ben pub, Full English Breakfast With All British Products, etc. If this is the target they are catering to then the well heeled set will never come here. I was going to stay here perhaps again on Thursday and Friday night but I think I might just go to Sitges beach near Barcelona for a change of pace!

That will be enough crankiness for today.